Beautifully Broken
by lovelyinterlude
Summary: AU: A tragic accident left Rory without a family and Lorelai is her new adoptive mother. She is forced to attend Chilton. Follow her on her journey of learning how to love again. REWRITTEN...sorry for the long wait..I promise to keep writing this time:


Things change. We all know that. We are always evolving, always caught in an abyss of perpetual change. But what do you do when your life changes so suddenly, so dramatically, and so unexpectedly that your dreams feel more real than reality? How are you ever supposed to adjust to that?

I wish I knew the answer. Instead, I find myself waking up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar voice singing in the background. I urge myself to go back to sleep so I don't have to deal with my painful reality and can instead live in a dream world full of happiness and comfort. But my body resists my desires and I find myself wide awake in a new place that I am supposed to call home.

Three weeks ago I was in a completely different place - both physically and emotionally. Three weeks ago I was happy. Three weeks ago I was free. Three weeks ago I had a family...

I had lived a perfect life, with an amazing family, amazing friends and a truly optimistic outlook on life. My Mom and Dad were the epitome of a happily married couple. Having been married for 25 years you would think that their love for each other would begin to wane, but it never did. In fact it only grew stronger. Sometimes I wonder how two people could have so much love inside of them because not only did they shower each other in love but also their 3 children and everyone else around them. My brother and sister were equally incredible. It always amazed people how well we got along. Sure we had our little fights but I suppose it would have been extremely abnormal if we hadn't. We were honestly best friends.

We were perfect...but perfection never seems to last. September 12th, only a week after my Grade 12 year had begun, my life as I knew it changed forever. It was a Friday and I was eagerly awaiting the weekend. My family had gone over to the neighbouring city to pick up my older sister, who was there going to university, so that she could come home and visit for the weekend. I had been unable to go because of a math midterm.

I had been sitting in English class so consumed in my essay on 1984 by George Orwell that I failed to notice the entrance of two very solemn looking police officers into my classroom. It was not until I heard my name being weakly called by my teacher that I managed to revert my attention back to the going ons of the classroom.

I looked up and scrunched my forehead in confusion. Why were there two police officers in the classroom?

"Rory, these two gentlemen would like to speak with you," my teacher spoke, voice trembling. "You may want to bring your books and things with you."

Now even more confused and worried, I slowly packed up my things, feeling my face go red with all the attention I was getting from my curious classmates. Some were laughing, some were looking on with concern and some were already formulating the rumours that I'm sure would reach every student within the next hour.

On weak legs I got up and followed the police officers out of the classroom. Once in a place free of people the officer turned to look at me and from the sorrowful look in his eyes, my instinct told me that something had happened to my family, that maybe they had got in a car accident. But still, nothing could have prepared me for what he was about to say.

"Rory, I regrettably have some horrible news for you."

I looked up and nodded, too flabbergasted by the whole situation to find the strength to say anything.

"Your family was in an accident today on their way back into town. A drunk driver from the other side of the highway veered off the road and t-boned your families vehicle...sending them off the road and over the cliff," he said with a wavering voice.

Over a cliff? I looked up at him shocked and he instantly knew what my next question would be. Thankfully, he did not make me voice it.

"Your mom, brother and sister we killed instantly. Your father is horribly injured and is in the hospital as we speak...the doctors say it doesn't look good."

I didn't know what to do...I stood glued to the floor. I didn't believe what I had just heard and kept urging myself to wake up from this nightmare. But nothing happened...it was real.

"I need to see him," I said ever so quietly.

The officer just nodded, obviously also overwhelmed by the sadness of the situation. He lightly pressed his hand against my shoulder for support and led me out of the school to his car. The trip to the hospital seemed surreal. Minutes felt like hours and I couldn't get there fast enough. My thoughts were traveling at warped speed...but at the same time it felt like I wasn't thinking anything. A part of me was still thinking that it was all a dream, that it wasn't real, and I would get to the hospital only to find out it had all been one big cruel joke.

I don't even remember how I made it to his room or how long it took. All I remember is seeing his face and the air being sucked from my lungs, leaving me breathless. I started hyperventilating, the reality of it all setting in. They were gone…and the person lying in the hospital bed hardly resembled the father I knew and loved. So serious were his injuries that you could hardly make out any of his facial features. He wasn't even breathing on his own, a tube down his throat was doing all the work. Wires and machines were everywhere, making his heart beat and blood pump through his veins.

I tentatively walked towards his bed and grabbed his hand, ever so softly for I was afraid of hurting him even more.

"Daddy? Please…please daddy you have to wake up. I need you now more than ever. Please…oh god I don't know what I'm going to do. I love you…I love you so much."

I lightly pressed my lips to his hands then searched his eyes for some sort of response. Nothing. No movement. No sound. Just the beeping of the machines around.

I hear a scuffing of shoes behind me and turned to see a nurse. She stood there for a while then hesitantly moved to attend to my father. I think she felt uneasy being in my presence. She could see my pain and just didn't know what to say. Luckily for her, our awkward moment was interrupted by the emergence of a doctor.

"Miss Smithe? " I nodded. "If its alright, I would like to talk to you about your fathers condition."

I followed him out of the room and into a seating area where he directed me to sit on one of the couches.

"Rory, your fathers condition is not good…not good at all. It's a miracle he even made it out of the car accident. I would love to be able to say he is going to be alright, but I'm afraid that's just not possible. During the accident, your father suffered extreme damage to his skeletal system. Both of his legs are broken, as well as his spine. He also has extensive internal bleeding and one of his lungs has collapses. He also lost blood circulation in his brain for a large amount of time which resulted in a large portion of his left and right hemisphere dying…"

I looked at him blankly. It seemed as if anything that could be wrong was wrong.

The doctor sighed. His eyes were glossed over, wishing he didn't have to say what he was about to.

"Rory, I'm afraid that there is nothing we can do for him. He is merely being kept alive by a machine right now. The chances of him waking up are slim to none….and even if he did, he has suffered such extreme injuries that he would most likely be immobile and brain dead. I wish I didn't have to present this decision to you after all that you've been through, but you're going to have decide whether or not you would like to keep him on life support or not."

My fathers life was being place in my hands. Everything was happening so fast. I still didn't even know if this was real or not…but the stabbing pain in my heart was beginning to convince me that it was. I nodded in understanding to the doctor. It seemed my voice was lost…or I just didn't have enough strength or energy left to find out. I knew that if I tried to speak I would break….as soon as I opened my mouth I knew all of my emotions would come pouring out and I just couldn't let that happen. I had to be strong right now…I had to think of what would be the best for my father.

As soon as the news got around, the people started pouring into the hospital. Like I said, my father was incredibly nice to all those around him and had a lot of people who cared for him. Many came to try and comfort me. I just laid in their arms, still not able to speak. But I was glad they came, it made me feel not so alone. And they helped me with my decision. It seemed that the consensus was that it would be best to end his suffering sooner rather than later…that my father wouldn't be able to bear the thought of him lying there so weak and helpless.

I knew they were all right. It was just so hard. How do you say goodbye to your father…how do you just pull the plug? And there were always the what ifs. They said it was a miracle that he even survived the accident….so what if there was another miracle and he survived this? My hopeful thoughts we soon being drowned out by the voice in the back of my mind telling me that deep down I knew what I had to do.

With the reassurance of all those that loved him I found what little strength I had left and went to find the doctor.

"I just need some time to say goodbye," were the only words I could manage to get out.

Putting his hand on my shoulder, the doctor looked me with understanding eyes full of compassion.

"You're doing the right thing sweetie. Take as much time as you need."

I walked back to my fathers room, preparing myself for the hardest thing I would ever have to do in my entire life. I didn't know how to say goodbye. How can you possibly prepare for a moment like this?

I got to his room and just sat holding his hand for a while, still trying to find my voice. But finally the emotions that I had been holding in just started pouring myself. I thought I would drown in my own tears…

"Daddy, I know you're hurting right now but that's all going to be over soon okay?" I said, looking up at him for some indication that he knew what I was saying. Of course there was no response. I sighed and just let my thoughts flow freely.

"Remember how when I was younger, I would always get these horrible nightmares and end up crawling into your bed late at night? You used to hold me and tell me a fairytale until I finally fell asleep in your arms. I always felt so safe when I was with you. No boogie man could ever hurt me if I had my big, strong father by my side. Sometimes I would pretend to have nightmares just so I could sleep in your arms and hear you tell me one of your wonderful stories. I loved it. But unfortunately, there came a day when I was too old to do that anymore.

But I was always such a daddy's girl and you always knew it. Even now, at the age of 17, I would still curl up by your side and we would watch movies together. I loved how close we were and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. You were the best father in the entire world and without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. You always knew how to make me laugh. Even when I was so upset that I didn't even want to smile, you would bug me so much until I smiled. And as much as I hated you for not letting me be miserable at times, I loved you for it all the same. That one little smile always helped to brighten my day."

By this point, I was babbling incoherently but I didn't care. I didn't want to leave anything out. I wanted him to know everything I felt for him and let him know how much I cared. Even though he was unconscious, I just knew somewhere deep down that he could hear me. I kept talking for what seemed like hours, recounting all the amazing memories we had. But finally I knew that I couldn't make this moment last any longer. It was time to say my final goodbye. Tears were cascading down my face and my words were barely making it out of my mouth.

"Daddy, I don't want you to go. I want so badly for you to stay here with me but I know that that is not possible. I wish I could go with you. I want to be with you and mommy and Arianna and Blake. I don't know how I'm going to survive here without you, I really don't. But I promise that I'll make you proud. I need you to know that you raised me better than anyone ever could have and that you gave me the best possible life. You were such an amazing person and everyone that knew you loved you so much. You touched so many peoples' lives and are going to be well missed by everyone. Daddy, I love you so much, more than you could ever know. I wish I had told you that so much more but I know that you knew I loved you. Promise me that you'll tell Mom, Arianna, and Blake how much I love them because I never got the chance to. I hope you guys will be happy together up in heaven. Goodbye Daddy. I love you so much."

And that was it. I had said goodbye to the last remaining person in my family. With all the strength I could manage I got up from my chair and placed a gentle kiss on his bruised lips and walked over to the door. Taking one last look behind me, I whispered another goodbye as I walked out of the doors. The doctor was waiting for me on the other side and took me into an embrace as soon as I came out of the room. I collapse into his arms and just cried.

The funeral was held 3 days later for my entire family. It seemed like over half of my small town had showed up to pay their respects. During the service, all I could do was sit there numb, tears falling down my face, as I watched my life fade away. Everything I knew had been taken away from me. The foundation from which I grew, from which I drew strength and support from had collapsed leaving my lying broken unable to get up.

But my tragedy was not over yet. My parents had never thought of the possible of something like this ever happening and had never decided on who my legal guardian would be in such a situation so the matter was left up to the courts. It seemed they were completely insensitive to my situation; all I was to them was another orphan they had to find a home for…I was just another burden to them. Never once did they ever ask me what I wanted, never once did they give me a choice. Instead they decided on a home that they claimed would be "suitable" for me and sent me on my way. I was forced to move away from my only remaining support system, my friends, and move in with some lady I had never even met in a little town I had never even heard of.

That lady was Lorelai Gilmore, and that town was Stars Hollow. I arrived here two days ago. Lorelai seem disgustingly enthused about life and had an inhuman amount of energy. Being so utterly depressed, it was painful to see someone who had such a love for life, while I was wishing that I had been taken from this world with my family.

Today was Monday and I was to start a new school today. Chilton…a private school. I had to wear the plaid skirt and knee high socks and everything.

"Rory, wake up!" boomed the overly enthusiastic voice belonging to Lorelai, "you don't want to be late for your first day of school!"

I rolled over with a grunt but managed to pull myself out of bed. "Ya, I'll be ready in a bit"

"Hurry, we still gotta go to Luke's for coffee!"

God, what is with this woman? I had only lived with her for 2 days but had already learned that she has an insatiable appetite for coffee. Maybe that was why she was so goddamned energetic all the time.

So today was a day of another unfamiliarity. A new school. A new school full of rich snobs to be exact. This should be interesting.


End file.
